Relief.

Yesterday I was set to write something about not knowing how the future was going to go, and having that be okay. Very specifically, my acceptance of whatever Brandon's fellowship match was going to be.

Haha, no mere acceptance needed. Tonight we celebrate not only a match, but a first choice match, at UVa! I cannot help but feel that this is another of the many pieces that are falling together for us.

Sunday, as I was reminded when I came to work yesterday, evoked a lot of sadness of leaving. June is always my favorite month, because with the 100 foot gold ego cube I have, I internally celebrate myself from June 1 to July 4--yeah, I know, more than a month. Now that I'm not working full-time, and my impending departure grows more and more eminent, June no longer seems entirely celebration. It has become a counting down, a careful calculus of fitting in everything I want (and feel obligated) to do before I'm 3000 miles away. Thankfully I don't feel that the simple act of living and enjoying each day--which this feeling of counting down could harm--is diminished.

t-33 days

I feel a sense of wrap up in the air. My mission, today, tomorrow or the next day, whenever I am not distracted by my final work obligations, arranging a photo with a non-bitey baby bengal tiger, or freaking out about housing or the GMAT, is to make a list of my personal obligations and ways I need to say goodbye to Portland. The personal obligation list is fairly obvious and short--get ready to have my stuff sent, solidify some housing leads, continue to do well in my principles class, etc.--but the goodbye list is more difficult. There's last lunches or outings I want to get in, connections I need to shore up, and/or think about how exactly I am going to maintain these relationships when I am 3000 miles away. I don't have the greatest track record with the phone, and while txt, FB and gmail/gchat will help some, I'd like to think a little more methodically about keeping relationships with people I love.


We do have the final piece of information we needed to make definite plans for next year, which makes leaving Portland easier, for me. It's come up once or twice that our time together was so limited, and I know it'll come up more. Thirty three days are not a long time, and that includes a lot of activity so I know it'll go by quickly. Our sixth month anniversary was last month, and I realized it a day too late to make a proper observation of it. The six months we've been together seem both longer than that--because we've fallen into sync so quickly--and shorter because the time's gone by so fast. The best part is that I'm not scared at all about leaving. I'm certainly not saying that being apart from B won't suck, because it will. But I have no doubt in our ability to make this work, and work well.

Now I'm off to read some econ and think about Wharton, the GMAT, and whether or not the tiger cub at the Methtival will be too bitey for a modeling session.