Eastern Motors

In a non-political post, I CANNOT GET THIS SONG OUT OF MY HEAD.

I hereby spread the torture to you.

Why do I feel so defensive?

I think I've said this before: I don't like either of the presidential candidates. Why do I feel myself sticking up so much for Gov. Palin? I don't like much of anything she has to say, but I do like how much she's pissing off people that appear to me to be knee-jerk supporters of the Democratic party. I took a quiz a couple days ago, picking quotes on policy that were not identified as being from McCain or Obama. The results told me to vote for McCain--by one question. I am split right down the middle, which is maybe why I find it so troubling that everyone else around me has it all figured out, like this election is simple and I'm the only one not seeing it. I feel like I'm a relatively intelligent and thoughtful person, and it makes me wonder why more of my peers aren't on the fence like I am.

Something occurred to me today, though. Palin's a hardcore Christian, and maybe that faith, if she can tap into an openness and understanding of what she has in common with Muslim believers, will help us shift the way we interact with that part of the world. I understand completely that the Arab world is not just about Islam, that sectarianism and resources and emotions and history all play a part in where we are now. But a respect for people of faith, which it seems like the intellectual elite of this country doesn't have, may help us broker a new language and dialogue.

Maybe this is me grasping on to my last hopes. Maybe this is me imagining (fantasizing?) about what I would like to do if I were Palin/McCain/Obama... (I'm not going to pretend that I would care about being Joe Biden at all, let's be real.)

I cannot help but think of this article written by a professor at the Georgetown School of Foreign Service satellite branch in Qatar.

The majority of Georgetown students I know are fairly knowledgeable about religion. They can talk intelligently about Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Hinduism and Buddhism. The glitch is that they talk from the perspective of anthropologists and sociologists and historians. These are valuable perspectives. But they are not enough. Of course we need to raise young people who can be smart, savvy, sophisticated participants in international affairs. What we also need are young people who can be all of those things while at the same time knowing and understanding what it is to live one's life with a commitment rooted in faith.

...It was the fall of 2004, and our conversation quickly turned to the presidential campaign. My friend argued that Sen. John F. Kerry's reluctance to talk about his own faith was a good thing, showing that the candidate understood that faith has no place in politics or public policy.

Out of the blue, a question occurred to me: "Other than me, do you have any friends or professional colleagues of any religion who attend services every week?" He was quiet for a long, thoughtful minute. "Not that I know of," he replied.

I have thought about that conversation for a long time. It has helped me understand what hobbles American higher education when it comes to educating people for careers in international affairs. It's not that we don't know about religion; it's that we don't understand faith and its life-shaping power.

The majority of people I know in higher education would argue that there is nothing wrong with religion for people who feel they need it. Their sentiments come down to something like this: "You have your religious convictions, I have mine. Let's acknowledge our differences and agree to disagree with one another within the confines of polite debate." That makes sense, of course, but it is not enough to prepare a new generation of diplomats who will be asked to engage the Muslim world in the decades to come.

This template for discussing religion and faith is fundamentally flawed. It presumes that different groups of faithful people approach their religions in the same way football fans approach their favorite teams: I cheer passionately for mine, you cheer passionately for yours, and we all agree to play by the rules and exhibit good sportsmanship. For people of faith, religion isn't like that. A person of Muslim faith and a person of Christian faith engaged in honest conversation about religion are not like two fans pulling for their respective teams. They are more like two men in love with the same woman, each trying to express, safeguard and be faithful to his relationship with his beloved. Love brings with it complexities that football does not.

The simple fact of the matter is that most of the world lives with a deep abiding faith or at the very least is heavily influenced by it, unlike the mostly secularized Western world. It seems like most West Coasters I meet--I'm just going to use them because it is the group I have the most experience with--cannot fathom how anyone believes that mumbo-jumbo anymore, and that they should shut it off when they enter the public sphere to talk about what we should do with the problems of society. I paraphrase Megan McArdle (I can't find her post about it, sorry): If you have a strong personal faith in something, why would you set that aside at the door?

I realize that I have a very different sense of how my religion and my rationalism work together than do most practicing Christians, so maybe I am exceptional in that I think that science and religion don't cancel each other out, necessarily. It is well-documented that I don't practice any faith currently, and even when I did it was fairly half-assed. I think, however, that my father's attention to personal development and steadfast belief in more--I can't call it more than that, for fear of not getting his beliefs right--help me develop, at the very least, a sense of appreciation for those who live their lives committed to faith. In mocking and ridiculing belief, we lose a language for how to talk respectfully to people who are different than we are on this particular matter. And people in the developing world aren't going to lose their faith overnight, or even over a generation. The staying power of monotheism is fairly well proven, and we are going to work with people to whom God is extremely influential. I hope that we have not lost our ability, as a society, to connect with people who do not share our secularism.

Pie isn't Arab, is it?

I made my first DC pie tonight, for a portion of the Middle East Studies firstie crowd. They are all awesome, and I really enjoy having them over to my house for dessert (summer berry, heavy on the raspberry), conversation and light drinking. (Tonight was light drinking; I know full well this crowd is capable of more than that.) We were arguing about whether people are getting smarter/more modern. One of us said no, one said yes, two more were on the fence. (I like James Flynn, so yes, I was the one arguing in favor.)

After I had the young gentlemen in rapture over my pie, one of them asked when Brandon would be in town and invited us over for dinner. I was touched; I usually don't expect to be reciprocated, so it was lovely. I also very much like K, so it will be fun to go over and hang out for an evening.

I really enjoy hostessing; I love when conversation is flowing--or not, over yummy dessert--and when people have had a good time in a social space I've created. I like being able to bake or cook and provide food for people I value. One of the things I miss most about not living with Brandon is not having a reason to make elaborate dinners in the same way I used to. I am certainly not going to make pot roast for myself... although, now that I think about it, I could and should make some chicken with lime sauce. Good idea, self.

Other news:

• On the fence about phone situation. Due to wonky equipment, I am wondering if I should switch to Verizon instead.
• B-school still seems like a really good idea.
• Econ classes (trade and money) are b o r i n g, which is too bad. They don't have to be.
• I love my school, and my fellow students.
• Long distance relationships are hard. Is this news? Maybe not. The depth of my missing Brandon grows every day. If I dwell on it, it almost feels like my heart is physically in pain. Maybe that's so I can get priority for a doctor's exam... ha.
• There's a part of me that still can't believe that I am where I am. I truly feel like all my dreams and goals for the future, that I've held in my heart for the past three years (education/career) and lifetime (partnership), have come true. The world will only continue to open its doors to me, and the thought is awesome. Like, I am experiencing actual awe, people.
• American Boy (Estelle ft. Kanye) is still excellent shower music. Missy, I've been practicing my karaoke.
  

A list of really random things on my mind.

• Saudi is going to keep pumping as much oil as they want, OPEC be damned. Will the price of oil go down further?

• Biden thinks Obama should have picked Hillary. Of course you say that now, after your opponent picked a running mate that you can't deal with. If the Dems lose this year, they are going to have to do some serious rethinking. I maintain that they have not done the soul-searching and clarification of vision that they needed to do after 9/11, although one could argue that the charisma of Bill Clinton held the Democrats through a longer period of ideological stagnancy. Neither party has satisfied my desire for a rethinking of our place in the world. I know it's cliched, but we live in a radically different world than we did seven years and one day ago. No one's come up with a good framework, and certainly this political season isn't helping.

• Here's what I think: I think the Republicans make a better party out of power, because then they can align the supposed "smaller government" value against their opposition rather than themselves. As we can see from, say 2000 on, that hasn't really worked for them. I also think the party needs to be punished for its legislative record in the last terms. At the same time, I think the Democrats want to solve our financial solvency issues by making us a higher tax country, closer to a European level. I don't want that, and I think there are ways to solve our problems without going down that road. At the same time, the right not only has a terrible recent track record on keeping spending down, they also have a terrible social issues track record as well. Hello Medicare prescription supplement. Hello any politically viable candidate's opinions on abortion. I don't think that my politics are that radical, so why do I feel so alienated from both candidates?

My two thoughts of the day on the anniversary of Sept. 11:

1. None of the political blogs I read have made mention of it, while 90% of the more personal/off-topic blogs that I read have.
2. Someone on my generation is going to come up with a framework to explain the post-9/11 world, like George Kennan did for containment.
   

• Top three recipients of Fannie Mae/Freddie Mac campaign contributions? Let's hear it for the boys:

1. Chris Dodd (chair of the Senate Finance Committee)
2. Barack Obama
   
3. Hillary Clinton

Yes, there were Republicans on that list. But THANKS GUYS for not attending to this problem sooner. Were there more signs that we should have been able to read? In hindsight, yes. At the time, arguably yes. I don't want the baby boomers in power anymore. I think they screwed it up royally. (Yes, Bill Clinton is a baby boomer, but he is not solely or even significantly responsble for the booms we saw in the 90s. And... we are paying for that boom now. It's called a Keynesian business cycle, welcome to it. Thanks, macro!)

K, more reading about Arabs to do. HIYA.

Hurricane Hannah

Well, it's definitely raining here in DC, probably the most that I've experienced yet. I am going to try to avoid going outside until it stops a bit. So far so good; I will get some reading and organizing done before I figure out what I'm doing tonight.

I got an unhappy email yesterday from Darden, my last card in the b-school deck, saying that while I seem like a candidate that they would value having on campus, there's no way they can make a joint degree work for me.

That put me in a VERY unhappy mood, which I drowned in alcohol. But there is a bright side--I get to take all the classes that I want at SAIS, I may get to do a specialty (finance? transition and development economics?) and I can still do the MBA after SAIS if I really feel like it.

I think I'm done being annoyed by it.

Politics this election season is pissing me off. Then again, when does it not?

I feel so conflicted about this year's election. I really would like a black man to be in the presidency, but Obama's policies do not please me. At all. I think a lot of us are seeking to elect him based on the cult of personality, which is NO reason to elect a president. He is only now starting to be clear and straightforward about his policies, which means Democrat primary voters chose him on his rhetorical skills. I would like to like him. I would like to have an articulate speaker in the office. Hell, I would even like to have a policymaker who is influenced by Nudge, which he says he is. In general though, Obama makes me uneasy. Biden doesn't do anything to make me more comfortable with the ticket.

McCain makes me uneasy as well. I like that he is not a traditional Republican--or at least, a Republican of the last eight years. At the same time, I hate that, as a libertarian, neither side can throw me a bone. These people are making me long for the days of Newt Gingrich and the Contract with America. SERIOUSLY? McCain hasn't shown a good understanding of economic policy that I would want in a president. So my vote for him, if I make one, would be lesser of two evils.

I enjoy that a woman is on the GOP ticket, and I even like the fiscal policies of Palin, as well as her independence from Big Oil, which in Alaska must be difficult. I read a great blog entry from an Alaskan who loves her and what she's done for the state. I wasn't able to watch her speech last night, but I've heard it was quite effective and really may throw everything into a very tight race, which is what I've been predicting to myself.

What I don't like is the discussion we're having on either side. No one should be rooting for Hurricane Gustav to be more disastrous so the RNC will be more disrupted. (Yes, I actually heard this.) No one should be deciding their vote based on the parenting skills (or not) of the vice-presidential nominee. Identity politics is not a good way to decide who is going to run your country, because it is not always reflective of how you think or what you value. Identity politics makes me so angry I can't see straight. I love that Sarah Palin is a female and competitive candidate, but just because she is those things doesn't influence my decision to vote for the ticket.

I guess I am one of those post-modern cosmopolitan elitists people have been ranting about. I think, however, that I try to make (and mostly succeed) a priority of respecting people who think and live differently than me, which doesn't seem to be the case in the national discourse. I had to stop reading one of the communities that I followed because the vitriol was just idiotic. Things are not black and white, and I hate that we all turn it into that. It prevents understanding the real complexity of the world we live in, which is just going to get more complicated. I am an optimist but this inability or refusal to step up to the intellectual plate really terrifies me.

A break from studying.

This weekend... oh my. It leaves me breathless.

Brandon was here Thursday through today; I dropped him off at the airport this afternoon, both of us complaining to the world that the visit should not be over. Everyday, I thank my lucky stars that Brandon found me, and this weekend only makes me even more thankful. We had a decent amount of time together beyond me being dragged down by class and TA sessions. We had dinner with Scott and Jane, went to the SAIS happy hour, had dinner with Missy, all of which were fun. It was so wonderful to spend time with my friends and my boyfriend. While I've somewhat gotten used to having the people important to me spread out across the country it doesn't make it any easier that that's my regular state of being.

We also:
moved all my stuff into the house after the Yellow Freight delivery (thanks Besseh!);
ate at Ben's Chili Bowl, on their 50th Anniversary weekend;
ate at the Good Stuff Eatery, owned by Spike of Top Chef (that's him in the picture!);
stopped by Jazz at the National Sculpture Garden;
consumed the world's largest frozen custard (mine with sprinkles, om nom nom);
put together a crap ton of black-brown particle board (MALM!);
played Rock Band and faux-appliance-shopped at Best Buy;
watched Back to Future III. I will say that watching me watch the movie was most likely far more entertaining to B than the movie itself.

And then today rolled around. After I returned to my empty apartment, I found that I had forgotten what living here without B was like, which surprised me. We have about 10 weeks apart this time, one of the longer stretches of the year. I already miss him terribly. Who decided this grad school thing was a good idea, anyway? I should spank this person.

In which your narrator likens her emotional state to Keynesian economic theory.

You may cite this post as the final stake in the coffin of the argument that I am not a dork.

I am a dork. I embrace it.

So in Macroeconomics, we are learning about Keynesian economic cycles. Keynes' main insight to economics was his modeling (for was it was worth) of short run economic cycles, when prices and wages are "sticky", i.e. they cannot immediately change to reflect other changes in economic variables. A perfect example of this is right now: we are all facing rising costs of fuel but our wages (or student loan money, in my case) remain the same because your employment contract says that you will be paid $X per month this year, and any opportunity for your wage to increase is going to happen next year at your performance review. So now, because gas etc. is more expensive, you have less to spend on other goods, and your total demand for goods and services goes down. In the long run, of course, this all adjusts and the real value of your wage adjusts so you have the same standard of living that you had before. But the adjustment period is not fun.

Keynes also wrote about the multiplier effect. Increased spending, whether by government or the private sector, has a larger effect on income of the entire economy. Say, hypothetically speaking, the government needs to pay for a huge wars in the Middle East and South Asia, and to do this, the government needs to purchase $100 million of fighter jets. That $100 million of expenditure becomes income to the fighter jet factory, which is spent by the employees of that company who received it as wages. Then the fighter jet employees all need to buy supplies for a baby shower in November, so they spend most of that income (they do save a little, the ratio between what they save and what they spend is called the marginal propensity to consume) at Babies R Us for some onesies and those giant strollers that get in my way on the Metro. Then the Babies R Us employees take that income and spend most of it at Costco on beer and floaty things to go floating down the Sandy... etc.

I think you get the point. If an economy has a high propensity to consume (which, you might guess, the American economy does), then this multipler effect is quite large and
when you are spending more, it's great! Income leads to more income and we're all better off, and quite rapidly. The flipside, of course, is that when you are on a downward trajectory (say a spike in the price of oil and food, for example, hypothetically speaking) the effects of reduced spending are spread all that much more quickly.

Why am I talking about this? These classes that I'm taking are really difficult because I am coming face to face with one of my intellectual weaknesses: lack of creativity when it comes to mathmatical analysis. If you can show me step-by-step how to do something, I'm all over it. But when I need to slightly tweak that and apply that in a different way, it's very difficult for me to do. I have never really be trained on how to do that. Conceptually, economics is intuitive for me, and it's pretty easy for me to manipulate graphs and understand why doing A would result in outcome B. Friday I was really struggling even to hold it together, which was troubling to experience, until I realized that it was something I just needed to own and let myself feel and get through because it happens every month and I must accept it.

What helped me was making an analogy in my head that I was experiencing high marginal propensity to feel due to hormonal fluctuations, if you know what I mean. Not only was I on the brink of tears in class on Friday due to frustration, I was also almost in tears on my walk to school yesterday because I was so happy when I think about all the friends I have and how I get to see my amazing boyfriend next week, etc. It's frustrating because I am such a rational person most of the time, and then these moments of wild emotion spring on me which are weird and confusing until I realize that it's manifestation of hormonal shifts that I really have no control over. I must feel them--not keep them inside--and move on.

Other than my high MPF causing emotional volatility, things are good. Brandon's coming to visit this week, which I am so excited for I could pee. This week is also the final week of class, which will be such a relief. What I've heard from alums is that Preterm is the worst it ever gets. Thank god. Now to take a short nap and get to work on macro.

Short and Sweet

Economics is snowing on me. I have a "mid-term" tomorrow, though technically we've had six classes. I feel pretty confident about the exam, and then no econ for almost 24 hours, which I am looking forward to.

My favorite thing about SAIS so far are my fellow students, who are smart and engaging. My favorite thing about DC so far, oddly enough, is all the different kinds of seltzers they sell at Giant. I've always had a thing about drinking plain water, so my consumption of water has gone up dramatically. So has my consumption of vegetarian processed foods, which is kind of weird.
My furniture situation isn't quite settled yet, but that'll get done eventually, and certainly before I start the fall semester.

Off to make sure I know supply and demand like the back of my hand.

A kindergartener who needs to know calculus.

Well, off I go. I had a weekend mixed with fun, math, and readying myself for today, and here it is. I watched Dark Knight yesterday with Missy and Megan, and luckily I did not have nightmares--I thought that was a valid possibility. Instead I had a dream that Jen LaMastra knew Aaron Eckhart (sans Two Face makeup) and we became friends. I decided that was a good omen for today.

Yay micro and macro! See y'all on the flipside.

Whoa.

I didn't feel that productive today, but I:

• finalized details on my apartment;
• sent a flurry of text messages celebrating the end of the housing search;
  
• got an important prescription transferred to DC from Kaiser PDX ;
• got a plane ticket home for Thanksgiving (my six hour wait at ORD was worth approximately $1063, not bad if I do say so myself);
• retrieved keys from Kyle II;
• walked around in Cleveland Park a lot;
• negotiated with Roommate about who gets what room;
  
• am now going to make a turkey sandwich.

I am le tired. I may go take a nap, then fire ze missiles.

My first blogger meme

Rules are as follows:
Link to the person who tagged you
Post the rules on your blog
Write six random things about yourself
Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs
Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment at their blog
Let your tagger know when your entry is up.

I was tagged by Missy.

1. I have a minor addiction to words. As a child, I read all my books over and over again just because they were there. When I am at the breakfast table, I like to read the back of the cereal box. When I clean my room, I have a difficult time not being distracted by a magazine or book that needs to be put away. When the intertubes grew out of its infancy, I discovered LiveJournal and later the blogosphere. I just like reading about people, the choices they make, how they make them and what they learn from them, if anything. But I also just love reading.

2. I don't like reading fiction. If I'm reading about people, it tends to be real life stories about personal growth. I also love economics and history books. Books about social changes, and how to make society "better", though it seems to me there is very rarely a consensus on the goals themselves, let alone the means to get there.

3. I used to find myself acting out to receive attention, because it made me feel really good. Now that I've grown out of that, I find displays of that in others appalling.

4. There are people and things that made it difficult to leave Portland, namely the people I loved, and the sense of home I feel from knowing a place in such a deep way. The feeling of having a clean slate is so cathartic, however. Rather than being a place to reconnect with long-lost friends, sometimes Facebook only serves to remind me only of failed relationships I've been in, both friendly and romantic. Portland did the same thing for me at times--remind me of all the mistakes I've made. I know that's my issue, that I need to look at mistakes as an opportunity to learn, or a reminder of humility. I am by far my own worst critic, though in recent years it's let up a bit.

5. I don't know if I want to do the motorcycle tour through Turkey, Iran, Pakistan and India anymore. As I get older, I feel the old shyness I experienced as a youth creep back in surprising ways, and I feel like I should be an extreme extrovert to make that trip happen.

6. The misogyny and objectification in so much of our pop culture really pisses me off.

I'm not going to tag anyone, but if you want to, go for it.

Social Butterflyness: DC Style

Yesterday was Screen on the Green. HBO, which is famous for the HBO song and dance (explanation forthcoming), sets up a film screen on the National Mall, and shows a movie every Monday evening during the summer about half an hour after sunset. This week's movie was Dr. No, which I hadn't seen before and kept confusing with Dr. Zhivago. Giant crowds of people bring blankets, foldy chairs and picnics to the lawn to camp out for a good light of sight for the show.

The people in front of us brought KFC to snack on, and I couldn't articulate why I thought it was weird, but it was. First of all, you should have Popeye's if you're going to have a fried chicken if you're not going to make your own. Then the people poured mashed potatoes from the larger container into one of those plastic wine cups, and it looked like poop. Ew. They did have the good fortune of having acquired some cup holders on stakes to pound into the ground.

Dr. No doesn't quite cut it as a modern film. The sexism is overt and ludicrous, and received lots of laughs. It is kind of amazing that what was normal--I think it was normal, I didn't view it back then through the lens of the early 1960s--forty years ago is merely risible now. I probably wouldn't be pursuing a graduate degree if those social norms were still in place.

I need to remember to bring a pillow next week, and/or a chair. And a sweater... it actually got fairly cold. I also need to wear pants that allow me to properly do the HBO dance. Screen on the Green runs a cartoon to begin the evening. After the cartoon, however, is the HBO song, which is the cue for all the crazies to get up from their blankets and do some relatively organized jumping and flailing, i.e. the HBO dance. I couldn't get into it quite as much as I wanted to, because it seemed like my pants were falling down. Next week, though? It's so on.

My last baking for a while.

This was my last foray into baked goods in Portland. For dinner at my parents' house, I made an apple pie that was baked on the grill. You have to cover it in a paper bag, otherwise it dries out too much, I guess.

I was hoping that the smoky flavor would make it really awesome, but I think it was mostly weird. Other people liked it, however, and it was gone shortly after its creation. Must have vanilla ice cream to accompany, preferably vanilla bean over french/freedom vanilla.

I did make blueberry muffins yesterday, with the blueberries that Jane picked on a farm out in Maryland. They were pretty good; I had one for breakfast this morning. Yum.

85% WOOOOOOO

What does a crapton of money (more than twice was IHoMGS went for, jebus) in DC get you? A 1600 square foot apartment, complete with Jacuzzi, and an awesome (so far) roommate.

HOLLER BACK Y'ALL.

I will be at 100% WOO when we give over our moneys on Monday or Tuesday and I meet the new roommate and am at full and complete peace. And get to move in.

Looks like I was having fun last night

And here we are.

I was all set to write a reflective post, as I do every birthday, and somehow the day got away from me. (I think a giant, ride-on turtle had something to do with it.) I'm 25 now, which I kept saying the whole week made me feel really old, but now that I'm in unfamiliar surroundings, I just feel young, inexperienced and naive again. (Was I ever truly naive? I can hardly use that word to describe me.) Or maybe it's merely the stress of not knowing exactly where I am at every moment. I can navigate DC enough to get by, for now. I get the grid, I know my compass directions, but I'm still learning whether I'm going to Branch Ave or Greenbelt when I go home on the green line. In Portland, I never ever for a single moment felt lost. Perhaps that's the listlessness, the emotional detachment that I really started feeling in June--an anticipation of not knowing. I thought I had grown to be more okay with not knowing, and I think on the whole I am. I just also had a lot of other stuff to deal with: packing up my things, leaving my family, friends, and boyfriend, leaving a city that I know like the back of my hand, feeling a bit intimidated by this whole grad school thing.

Note: DC trannies seem to be much more nonchalant about their tranniness.

I'd tried to find roommates but my communications with them have turned out to be fruitless. It looks like I'll be on my own for a studio, and I'm fine with that. The happy thing about inflated DC rents (relative to PDX) is that you do, to some extent, get what you pay for. IHoMGS had no dishwasher, no AC, no doorman, no pool, no parking, no fitness center, etc. My studio near Dupont Circle will probably have all these things. I'm not sure that's worth an extra $400-500 but it does make up for some of the price.

Note: the CVS in Dupont Circle smells strongly of formaldehyde.

I've been fairly indecisive in my search for housing this week. Two potential roommates didn't work out so I'd been hamstrung by figuring that out. I've mostly spent my time exploring the city--I walked 11.5 miles on Tuesday, causing three gigantic blisters on my feet and throwing me into recovery mode for the past few days. I think my muscles are no longer sore today, which is nice. I have been getting other necessities completed like my homework for my principles class, setting up a bank account, getting my IDA forms to begin the disbursal process, navigating the financial aid system, swimming in Jane's pool (which is a necessity given the humidity), planning my class schedule, etc. It would appear that I won't have class on Mondays. Fairly exciting. There's a class called Behavioral Sociology in Sectarian and International Conflict that I'm very excited to take.

Note: one of SAIS's neighbors is the Embassy of Uzbekistan.

When you are quitting smoking, experts recommend that you use moving to rid yourself of the habit because all your cues for habitual behavior are gone. I see myself in a somewhat similar light, though of course I have no tobacco habit to kick. I feel more aware of certain patterns of behavior and seem to be having more control over changing the ones I don't like. I'm drinking lots more water. I'm making healthier food choices. Jane might disagree, but I feel a little neater than was my standard in Portland. I hope it lasts. I think it will. In a certain sense, I think I will be reborn here, in that I have a better shot at improving myself in the ways that have been niggling minor issues that take up entirely too much of my emotional space.

Skincare

I've gotten on a anti-sun skin care kick recently. I've been trying to be a person who puts on SPF 50 every single day, but I hadn't gotten farther than whatever is in my normal face moisturizer. Granted, I buy Neutrogena and make sure that it's SPF something.

I have made a breakthrough, however: continuous spray sunscreen. I'm on my second can of it (I tried Banana Boat first, and have since graduated to Coppertone, which is superior), and it would seem that this habit will stick. After I've dried off from the shower, I spray it all over me, and now I'm allover protected at, that's right, SPF 50. Booya. Coppertone dries quickly and doesn't feel greasy; I recommend it.

When I'm 50 and have the glowing radiant skin of a 35 year old, I'll pat myself on the back.

Sometimes I hate politics.

Seriously? I half love the excellent branding Obama's doing but I also hate it.

Luckily, he's planning to eliminate the corporate income tax, or at the very least, decrease it. Now that Obama's the nominee-presumptive, I'm going to enjoy the reaction of progressives as he marches to the center.

Relief.

Yesterday I was set to write something about not knowing how the future was going to go, and having that be okay. Very specifically, my acceptance of whatever Brandon's fellowship match was going to be.

Haha, no mere acceptance needed. Tonight we celebrate not only a match, but a first choice match, at UVa! I cannot help but feel that this is another of the many pieces that are falling together for us.

Sunday, as I was reminded when I came to work yesterday, evoked a lot of sadness of leaving. June is always my favorite month, because with the 100 foot gold ego cube I have, I internally celebrate myself from June 1 to July 4--yeah, I know, more than a month. Now that I'm not working full-time, and my impending departure grows more and more eminent, June no longer seems entirely celebration. It has become a counting down, a careful calculus of fitting in everything I want (and feel obligated) to do before I'm 3000 miles away. Thankfully I don't feel that the simple act of living and enjoying each day--which this feeling of counting down could harm--is diminished.